Sunday, August 29, 2010

‘Sorry’ is a powerful word

We keep saying ‘Sorry’ as the word left back by the British rulers when we are not happy with some one using the word, but ‘apology/Expression of regret’ has been practiced since ancient times. Probably without that the civilisation would not have progressed this far. Imagine if only Kauravas had expressed regret and given the share of kingdom to the Pandavas the entire Kurukshetra war could have been avoided, where 18 lakh warriors have been killed

I would like to narrate two incidents where I have personally experienced the effectiveness of the word ‘Sorry’

I had to take my daughter to participate in some colouring event organised by her Art school. It was some record seeking event, hence there was a huge gathering. As I reached the destination, I was trying to open my car door and suddenly a scooter driven by a lady with two kids zoomed in and my car door kinda got jammed with some part of the scooter. Lady who could not hold balance fell to the side with the kids n scooter. I could not come out of the car (being bulky as I am) as the passage was narrow, people around helped her to get up and lifted the scooter. She started hollering about my basic civic sense etc etc. However as I came out of the car first thing I did was to profusely say ‘sorry’ to express the regret of my action and repeated the word number of times. I noticed that no one around said anything more and all was well.

We notice many a time on the road small lapses leading to major fights just because a person’s ego does not permit them to apologise. Even when some one is at fault they will simply do not accept it, will not the world and more specifically roads be more safer if only the word ‘Sorry’ is said the way it should be said.

Second instance, When I was associated with a liquor company we had a product launch in a state capital, after the hype n hoopla was over with the launch, bar was thrown open for the invitees. Unfortunately, the crowd was not what we thought, it would be and in a jiffy the entire liquor got vamoosed. Some angry guest threw a glass at the display behind in the process hurting one of the bar attendee. I sensed situation was going out of hand, rushed to the hotel authorities to help me with security, they expressed their own helplessness. Then I had only one choice, went straight to the bar counter started apologising with the guests who were standing near the counter and demanding liquor ‘Maaf kijiye, abhi bar counter bandh hai’ with both my palms together in a namaste, by repeating this with most of them, slowly the noise around the counter started coming down, then I noticed my senior also doing the same job of requesting others. Probably this is what Gandhji meant when he said offer other cheek if some one slaps you on a cheek. We could peacefully shut down the show thereafter.

In life we keep saying ‘Sorry’ as the most misused word but let me tell you if used in the right situations it can work wonders. In most marriages, business partnerships, we notice differences and some amount of shouting, a quick apology once some one notices that they have gone overboard can work wonders for a peace in a marriage or a relationship. No doubt the problems will persist when we do not want to accept we are at fault, that is what ‘EGO’ does to one.

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